Get Over It

I have one of those minds that never stops, honestly it is going 24/7. Thoughts race through my mind all day long, I map out conversations, play a variety of scenarios, plan parties and pray continuously. I can never remember if I actually told my husband the weekend plans, funny stories from the day and updates on family/friends or if I just told him in my mind. I used to work in my sleep, dream up new themes, events and schedules; I have created new Poplin products while snoozing and even solved problems.

Generally my overly active mind is fine, I know how to handle my thoughts, move on when needed, analyze at times but lately I find myself a bit lost. Being at home now full-time is awesome, I am incredibly thankful and enjoying each day but haven't quite figured out what to do with all these thoughts. Yes my two high-strung, passionate (Nama's word for them), loud, energetic little ones keep me on my toes but I am always thinking. I need something to think about and plan to occupy my mind, keep it on focused and positive. A Poplin Party, boys birthday party themes, ways to be more efficient with chores and money saving tips have helped but many of my recent thoughts are focused on my body.

Maybe cause it's summer and shorts are a daily uniform or I am in the bathroom more (drinking more water is one of my at home goals), who knows. I am not so naive to think I would always look the same, weigh the same and have a closet filled with the same clothes but my body is different. Different than before, different than what I am used to, different from what I would like.

Some of the random body thoughts scrolling through my mind...

• I am running every other day yet don't feel toned.
• My stomach is flat yet not tight.
• My legs won't get any thinner no matter what.
• If I eat that bowl of ice cream I will have to get up at 5:30 to run.
• I won't eat anything sugary or unhealthy today so I can have junk this weekend.
• I really need some chocolate right now- maybe brushing my teeth with help?
• My clothes are the same size as in high school yet nothing fits the same.
• I am much wider than before.
• Why is my chest flatter than a 12 year olds?
• How can I weigh the same yet look different?
• I am 26yrs old now, maybe my metabolism has slowed down.
• I need to be in the best shape and as thin as possible before having a 3rd child.

Just some of the crazy thoughts rolling around in my mind. I am not obsessed with my appearance, have actually been embracing the no make-up look and have no problems running into the post office looking like a wreck but I do care. I want my husband to stay attracted to me, I want my kids to have a healthy mama, I want to be the put together mom casually roaming the zoo with quiet kids staying next to the stroller (ok that is not realistic at all).

(ready to have Trexen)



In the end though I need to get over it. My body is strong, healthy and yes different. God blessed me with two pregnancies where my body stretched, moved, shifted and delivered healthy baby boys. I won't look the same as I did in high school, college or at my wedding but that is ok. Those two little boys who have had much to do with my different body don't care, Trexen hears his daddy call me pretty so he does, the touch of my hair instantly soothes Paceler even if it's undone and they just want to be with me, my different body and all.

Embrace your post-baby body and get over it!